"Daryl Morey is a liar. And I will never be a part of an organization he's a part of. Let me say that again: Daryl Morey is a liar, and I will never be a part of an organization he's a part of."
Managing minutes is about how you show up in relationships and, as we saw with Ben Simmons, how you don't show up.
In this one, we're looking at how going Harden breaks down communication, damages relationships, and how we can stop protest behavior.
Bro can hoop, no doubt.
James Harden is a basketball player for the NBA's Philadelphia 76ers, known for his exceptional skills and deep offensive bag. Selected as one of the top 75 players in league history, he's earned numerous accolades, including 10 All-Star selections and the prestigious MVP award in 2018.
While Harden's talent on the court was undeniable, his recent play and actions have drawn attention away from his playing abilities again. His numbers are down, he's not the offensive threat he used to be, and he wants out of yet another franchise. The way it's headed now, it seems unlikely he'll secure the one thing missing from his resume: a championship.
Protest behavior refers to actions and behaviors people engage in to express their dissatisfaction.
It's a form of resistance usually employed when people feel unheard, powerless, or incapable of directly addressing their concerns. Sprinkle in a pinch of resentment, and protest behavior falls under the 'get your lick back' umbrella.
With James Harden, protest behavior looks like partying instead of reporting to training camp, intentionally lowering his conditioning, publicly criticizing 76ers owner Daryl Morey, and just plain ol' giving up, all to create pressure on teams and push for trades.
Harden has been a nightlife connoisseur, but pulling up to Lil Baby's party in Atlanta instead of reporting to his contractually obligated training camp in Houston is protest behavior. It shows his power and control over how he spends his time. This action says: "You won't trade me? Bet, I'm going to do what I want".
While it hasn't stopped him from leading the league in scoring or otherwise dominating in years past, Harden has been had issues with his conditioning. In his last game with the Rockets in 2021, Harden appeared to be considerably bigger than in his first game with the Nets, the team he used his protest behavior to get traded to. This action says: "You won't trade me? Bet, I'm going to appear like I let myself go to the point where you can't get my best physical performance".
When he's not with Baby, he's publicly calling Daryl Morey a liar. Like Ben Simmons, Harden is not playing and refusing to talk about it. But going Harden is different from going Ben Simmons because Harden will act out instead of fading away quietly. This action says, "You won't trade me after you wouldn't give me a max deal? Bet, I'm going to ruin your reputation".
In relationships, protest behavior can look like stonewalling, threats, gaslighting, hostility, and other harmful, indirect methods to manipulate a situation.
Personally, protest behavior is not a play I've run for a while, but I have been on the receiving end recently. I found myself in a situation where someone I was sharing space with and knew well repeatedly stonewalled me. Being on the receiving end of that certainly had me t'd.
Several times a day, they would literally stop talking and engaging in the middle of a conversation. A few days of that type of interaction left me feeling confused, disconnected, and angry. It seemed impossible to decode their actions, and it was overwhelming to absorb the toxic, although direct, venting when it finally came out. Looking back now, I know that this person was angry (because they told me) and might have resorted to protest behavior to express the depth of this anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction. However, by the time I got the scoop on how they felt, communication had broken down completely, and our relationship was seriously damaged.
This person and Harden resorted to protest behavior to express frustration but broke down communication, burned a bridge, and showed their butts.
Seek compromise and collaboration. Look for win-win solutions that address the concerns of all parties involved. Rather than engaging in behavior designed solely to assert your point of view, consider how you can work together to find a mutually agreeable resolution.
Turn to your person and say, "Person, I care about you, this relationship, and I want to find a compromise.
Don't show your people how you feel; tell them. Spoken or signed words are the best tool in your bag for effective communication. Actions and behaviors are highly interpretable and can be the worst tool in your bag for effective communication.
Turn to your person and say what you feel in a caring manner.
When discussing concerns or conflicts, focus on addressing the specific actions or behaviors that bother you rather than attacking the person's character. Separating the behavior from the individual will create more productive conversations and avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Turn to your person and:
Initiate a conversation with the person to express your concerns about their behavior. Let them know how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. At the same time, give them the opportunity to be heard so you can better understand their motivations and frustrations.
Turn to your person and say, "Person, I'm noticing this behavior from you, and I want to talk about it."
Clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations around the specific protest behavior you notice in your relationship. This can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts from arising in the first place. Establishing healthy boundaries allows for mutual respect and understanding between all parties involved.
Turn to your person and say, "Person, I’m not comfortable with [behavior].”
In my situation, I could have said, “Person, I’m not comfortable with stonewalling. I’m going to leave.”
When you 'take your ball and go home,' you remove yourself from the relationship after your boundaries aren't respected.
Turn to your person and say, "Person, my boundary hasn't been respected, so I'll be falling out of contact."
Going Harden means going grievous. Regardless of which side you think you're on, remember our people have potential, we can only work on something if we talk about it, and sometimes you have to just take your ball and go home.
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